Hi everyone, hope you had a great christmas 🙂
Just fishing for thoughts on the opeing of my new shortstory submission for eXcessica’s valentine’sday submisssion 🙂 What do you think?
The sizes were not quite exact. There were flecks of jam dotted here and there. And some of the butter cream had spilled over the edge when they’d been pressed together; but all in all, she doubted she had ever made a finer batch of Viennese Whirls.
“Now that’s what I call a proper tea time treat.” Beaming, Racheal turned her eyes up from the biscuits to face the bank of webcams on the other side of her kitchen. There were six in-all. Each strategically arranged on a collapsible rigging to provide the best shots of the long island worktop. The cams buzzed with life, their inbuilt motion sensors detecting her motion and refocusing. “And these are great for sharing with friends over a brew, or if you just fancy something to nibble on as you go about the house.”
It was a loosely rehearsed speech she’d been agonising over all morning. A mesh of facts, quips and banter she devised before any show to pick and mix as she saw fit in the moment and, coupled with her delicate beauty, pouting lips and soft emerald eyes framed by honey blond tresses, helped to endear her to her audience.
With a twist of her lips that boarded on devilish, she plucked a biscuit from the plate and like a connoisseur pondering and savouring a fine vintage, exaggerated a long, deep breath. There was very little of the freshly baked aroma. It had been all but spent in the time it had taken her to perform the delicate operation to cream and sandwich the two biscuits together. Fortunately, the treats were still warm and the fruity bouquet of strawberry and blackberry jams wafting round her nostrils was more than enough incentive to have her sighing a low, delectable sound for the cameras. As dad says, what the eyes don’t see the chief gets away with.
Biscuit crumbled as she bit into it, cream coating her tongue. Though the measurements she’d quoted for the camera were the generic quantities, this recipe was one of her own. And it was very nice, but there was too much butter. Nearly there, she observed while chewing, maybe swap 20gs of butter for sugar, with perhaps two teaspoons of cinnamon to compliment the buttercream. There was still plenty of time. Her new book’s deadline wasn’t until the beginning of May, that still gave her two months to work out all the little kinks.
She swallowed, plush pink tongue darting out to collect any lingering traces of the buttercream. “Like most cakes these are best eaten on the day you make them but will last for two or three more if properly stored.” As she spoke, she placed the half-eaten biscuit onto a piece of folded kitchen paper, then reached underneath to trigger the remote control hidden underneath, activating the cam’s shutoff timer.
30, 29,28… Mentally mirroring the countdown, she continued, carefully picking up the plate of Viennese whirls and holding it up for the cameras to focus on. She pulled a broad smile, praying there weren’t crumbs in her teeth “Make that special person in your life a few of these and they’ll be putty in your hands.” 17,16,15… “But I’m afraid that’s all for today my lovelies.”11,10,9… “Thanks for tuning in and until next week, I’m Rachael Hart and this is- no!”
When her internal countdown reached nine, the cams abruptly died, cutting her off mid exit.